9 Books Worth Gifting to People You Care About
Nine months ago, my iPhone deleted Instagram for me to save storage. I just never downloaded it back.
It had already been a couple months not really posting or consuming much at all. But that was the moment I committed to it. I figured a couple days. Couple weeks at most.
Turns out it’s been over nine months at this point.
And a lot of the stuff you’d expect to happen, happened. More calm. More mental clarity from not scrolling all day. What I didn’t expect is what I’m still wrestling with nine months in. That’s actually what this is about.
The stuff that was easier than I thought
The FOMO of viral stuff hits you in the beginning. You’re gonna get this a lot. “What? You haven’t seen that yet?” But then people proceed to actually show you the clip anyway. So viral trends and things like that don’t really come into your field of vision unless it comes up on your feed or somebody physically tells you about it or sends it to you.
In the beginning that can bubble up some anxiety where you feel like you’re cut off from the world a little bit. Kind of like when everybody’s using a slang word and you don’t know what it means and they’re like, “What? You don’t know what it means?” You feel it for a few moments. But over time who really cares?
Notification fatigue disappears faster than you’d think too. I love that I don’t get notifications from Instagram and all those other apps anymore, because I would eventually start getting notifications I didn’t even agree to in the first place. Certain updates happen, somebody posts something new, somebody joins the app. I thought I turned this off already. And if you wear a smartwatch, getting hit with those notifications and being distracted even for a second to look at your wrist is detrimental for focus and context switching.
A huge part of the mental clarity I found is just not having those coming your way in the first place.
The urge to scroll…you will replace it with something. I started checking email more, analytics more, just opening random apps that happened to be in my field of vision on my home screen. YouTube became the thing I was scrolling the same way I used to scroll Instagram, to the point where I’m seeing stuff I already scrolled earlier that day. So have another behavior ready to replace it with every time you feel that urge.
What actually helped was a pocket notebook near my phone at all times. Physical reminder. When I feel the urge to pick up the phone, that notebook is right there. Open it and write what you’re thinking instead. Think on a problem you’re actually working on. Quality thinking time, I feel like I’ve gotten that back.
And your detection of the trigger gets way sharper over time. In the beginning I would shut off Instagram, put my phone down, and before I knew it I was back on Instagram. Barely even noticed it happened. That’s what made it kind of scary. Nine months in, even when I find myself on YouTube, I catch it immediately. I’m aware that that’s what I’m doing versus before where I was just being pulled along without noticing.
The stuff that actually surprised me
Here’s what I didn’t see coming.
The hardest part of quitting social media isn’t the dopamine. It’s not the FOMO of viral clips. It’s the human stuff.
We met this custom tailor in Aruba. Her whole storefront was on Instagram. My wife got her info. But that was one of those moments where I’m like, ugh, I do want to follow this person and support them however I can, and I’m just not doing that.
Same thing with friends and family. Instagram has kind of become the new app where my parents are on it. It’s like how Facebook was at first.
You do feel like you’re not a part of this collective that’s on Instagram. Like something everybody else has in common that you don’t. That feeling comes up here and there. In the beginning I thought that was just the FOMO phase.
Nine months in I realize it’s something different. It’s not about the content. It’s about feeling like you’re not present for people that you want to be present for.
They leave out the part where you’re standing in a shop thinking, I actually want to stay connected to this person and I don’t have a way to do that right now.
Where I actually am with it
Nine months in and I’m genuinely considering going back. Not because the scrolling is calling me back. Because of that feeling of not being able to support people that you want to support.
The workaround I’ve been using is Buffer combined with a team member. Not opening the apps but still having content going out. Giving the wheels to someone who actually enjoys doing that stuff. And doubling down on subscription-based platforms instead, YouTube, email, the podcast, the things that were giving me the most return anyway. You’re probably going to use social in some fashion regardless. But at least in those formats the tax on your brain long term is nowhere near what it is consuming things at TikTok and Instagram speeds.
But I’d be lying if I said the workaround fully replaces the feeling of actually being present in those spaces with those people.
So that’s where I am. Nine months of clarity, and the thing that might bring me back isn’t the algorithm. It’s the humans.
If you’ve done this or you’re thinking about it, drop a comment. I’d love to hear what you noticed and what the hardest part was.
In your corner,
Misbah Haque
Founder, Habit Chess, Pod Mahal
Co-Founder, LapList
