Hi Reader,
Most people focus on learning hard skills—things like coding, marketing, or finance.
But what actually determines whether those skills translate into real opportunities?
Soft skills.
And they don’t just stand alone. They act as force multipliers for every skill set we develop.
There are three types of skills we build over time:
- Primary Skills → The main craft (e.g., writing, coaching, programming, sales).
- Meta Skills → The ability to learn, adapt, and problem-solve faster.
- Supporting Skills → Tools and knowledge that help execute the primary skill better.
Soft skills determine whether these thrive or hold us back.
The problem?
As we get older, we become more set in our ways.
Some level of stubbornness is probably healthy.
It helps us filter noise, refine taste, and avoid distractions.
But if we’re not careful, it can also make us rigid, skeptical, and slow to change.
Looking back, these are the soft skills I wish I mastered even more earlier in life.
And while it’s never too late to work on them, the longer we wait, the more painful other projects and goals become.
Here are seven soft skills that get harder to learn every year—and why they matter.
1. Emotional Regulation → The Ability to Stay Calm Under Pressure
Without this skill, we let frustration, anxiety, or fear dictate our decisions—hurting long-term outcomes.
In the book, How to Do Things You Hate, Peter Hollins talks about how most emotions have a chemical reaction that lasts about 90 seconds.
When things linger beyond that timeframe, it can be due to the story or narrative around that emotion.
Managing our inner state is probably the most valuable soft skills we can pair with anything else.
The speed at which progress can happen is often limited by how we'll handle those emotions.
When working towards improving this skill, reframe stress as data instead of a personal attack.
Something I've found very impactful is another idea from the book above, where expanding your vocabulary can go a long way.
So being able to label whether you are tired, dehydrated, or sad will give you more colorful language to regulate through.
Learning all the shades of these core emotions can give you specificity, which is where better solutions typically come from:
- Sadness
- Anger
- Fear
- Happiness
- Disgust
- Surprise
2. Persuasion → The Ability to Get Buy-In from Others
No matter who we are, we sell things all day long.
It may not be a product or service, but it may very well be your ideas or yourself.
At your job, you persuade your company every day in subtle ways to keep you around.
Persuasion can have a shady connotation, but that's because we view this as a device to get others to do things they don't want to.
I used to be terrified of selling in my fitness coaching days. Until I was forced to get good at it.
What helped me the most was practicing this outside of purely sales situations.
So if I watched a really great show, movie, or YouTube video—how can I get someone I know to share that excitement?
I would practice persuasion through ideas I was excited about.
When people would spend their time on these ideas I shared, I realized that was a big deal considering how non-renewable this resource is.
It eventually rubbed off in a sales context as well after a few years.
3. Adaptability → The Ability to Learn & Pivot Fast
The world moves fast. What worked yesterday might not work tomorrow.
The people who thrive aren’t always the smartest or the most talented—they’re the ones willing to adapt when circumstances change.
When I first started podcasting, I had a set idea of what made a great show.
High-quality production, polished storytelling, and a structured format.
But after working with some of the fastest-growing creators, I noticed something: the most successful podcasts didn’t follow a rigid formula.
They experimented, iterated, and evolved.
The problem with adaptability is that we don’t notice when we’re resisting it.
We tell ourselves we’re “sticking to what works” or “staying consistent,” but in reality, we’re afraid of starting over.
One of the best ways I’ve found to practice adaptability is deliberately exposing myself to new environments.
This could be as simple as working from a different space, learning a skill outside my industry, or having conversations with people I wouldn’t normally talk to.
Another trick? Reframe change as an upgrade, not a loss.
Instead of thinking, I have to start over, think, I get to reinvent how I approach this.
If you can get good at shifting gears, you’ll never be stuck waiting for the “perfect moment” to pivot—because you’ll already be in motion.
4. Relationship Building → The Ability to Connect with the Right People
Opportunities don’t come from cold applications. They come from people.
When I started my business, one of my first 10 clients was a company I had interned for.
That wasn’t luck—it was the result of a relationship I had built years before.
But here’s the truth: I’ve struggled with this skill more than any other.
In my 20s, I met amazing people—circles, networks, and mentors I never imagined getting access to. But what I wish I had done better was staying in touch.
Mel Robbins said something recently that hit me hard.
She was talking on her podcast about how we’re forced into friend groups and networks all throughout school and college.
But once we step into adulthood, the job of maintaining relationships falls on us.
As we get further from those built-in environments, we have to be intentional about who we keep around.
The reality? Relationship-building doesn’t happen as organically as it once did.
That’s why we have to use the tools available to us.
In 2016, I used podcasting to build an entirely new network for myself.
- It started because I wanted to talk to people doing the things I wanted to do.
- It ended with me landing my dream job within a year.
Podcasting was an excuse to have conversations.
It still is.
But the way we build relationships evolves over time.
- Discord, FB Groups, Slack communities—these weren’t major players a decade ago.
- Traditional networking events still work.
- But the best relationships happen when you consistently show up—before you ever need anything.
I’ve learned that people remember how you make them feel, not just what you say.
- Do they feel heard?
- Do they feel like you genuinely care?
- Do they associate you with opportunities and great conversations?
If you get this skill right, you’ll never have to “network” again.
You’ll just build a circle of people who are naturally invested in your success—because you’ve done the same for them.
The best time to strengthen your relationships was yesterday.
The next best time?
Today.
Who’s one person you haven’t checked in with lately? Shoot them a message—you never know where one conversation could lead.
5. Decision-Making → The Ability to Take Smart Risks
Most people stay stuck because they fear making the wrong decision.
But indecision is often the bigger risk.
Every major opportunity I’ve had—whether in business, podcasting, or coaching—came down to one thing: I made a call and backed it up.
I used to overanalyze every move, thinking I needed more information, more certainty, more validation before acting.
But here’s the thing, decision-making isn’t valuable when things are certain.
Anyone can decide when all the information is laid out perfectly. But that’s rarely when you need this skill the most.
The people who thrive under uncertainty aren’t the ones with perfect information.
They’re the ones who have trained themselves to decide in the fog.
One of the best mental models I’ve used to improve my decision-making is the 70% Rule popularized by Jeff Bezos.
If you have 70% of the information you think you need, make the call.
- Less than 70%? It’s too early—you’re guessing.
- More than 70%? You’re waiting too long—and now speed becomes your risk.
This is a framework that's been used for a long time in business, leadership, and military strategy.
Another concept that changed the game for me is Reversible vs. Irreversible Decisions. Jeff Bezos outlined this concept in Amazon’s 2015 Shareholder Letter.
Bezos explains that some decisions are like one-way doors (Type 1)—once you go through, there’s no easy way back. These require deep thought.
But most decisions?
They’re two-way doors (Type 2)—you can test, tweak, or pivot later.
Most people treat every decision like it’s irreversible—which leads to overthinking, analysis paralysis, and missed opportunities.
The fastest way to build this skill? Make more decisions under uncertainty.
You don’t get better at decision-making by waiting for clarity. You get better by acting in the moments where clarity is missing.
If I could go back, I’d tell myself: take more reversible risks, and take them faster.
Because the people who move the fastest aren’t always the best—they’re just the ones willing to decide and adjust along the way.
6. Focus → The Ability to Tune Out the Noise
We live in a world designed to steal your attention.
Social media, emails, notifications—every platform, every app, every company is fighting for a piece of your focus.
And most of us let it happen.
The problem? Focus isn’t just about getting more done. It’s about the ability to go deep on something long enough to actually build something meaningful.
But focus comes in different shapes and forms.
It’s not always about locking yourself inside a cabin until you emerge with a finished product.
Sometimes, it’s about the small decisions.
Take your phone notifications. Every time it pings, it forces a context switch—and it takes several minutes to regain focus after that interruption.
But focus isn’t just about distractions—it’s also about what you choose to prioritize.
A few years into my business, I hit a plateau.
I was serving multiple customer segments, trying to be everything to everyone.
And I knew that if I had the courage to choose and focus on just one of our segments, I would grow much quicker.
And I was right.
But man, that decision cost me months of focus.
I had the skill, the tools, and the experience—but because my focus was diluted, my growth was stalled.
That’s the hidden cost of a lack of focus. It’s not just about being distracted in the moment. It’s about the long-term opportunity cost of not committing fully to the right thing.
One of my favorite ideas around focus is attention residue from Dr. Sophie Leroy.
Every time you switch tasks, part of your brain stays behind thinking about the last thing.
That’s why it’s so hard to get into deep work—you never get fully immersed if you’re constantly bouncing between things.
So if I could go back, I’d tell myself: "Protect your focus like your life depends on it—because in many ways, it does."
Because in a world where everyone is scattered, the rarest and most valuable skill becomes the ability to go deep.
7. Self-Discipline → The Ability to Follow Through
Most people don’t fail because they lack talent.
They fail because they quit too early.
I used to think self-discipline was about pushing harder. Forcing myself through things with willpower alone.
But over time, I realized that discipline isn’t about grinding—it’s about making follow-through inevitable.
The stuff that really makes moves in our lives?
No one is telling or forcing you to do it.
Your job has deadlines. Your boss has expectations. School had grades and due dates.
But the things that matter most—the things that change your life—are the ones you have to hold yourself accountable for.
For me, that was building Pod Mahal.
I was working full-time.
No one was checking in on whether I was refining my systems, landing new clients, making sales collateral.
It was on me.
Pod Mahal wasn’t built on motivation—it was built on nights and weekends, on consistency when no one was watching.
That’s why I say discipline isn’t about grinding—it’s about making follow-through easy.
One of the best investments I ever made in my productivity was removing the need to make the same decisions over and over again.
- Instead of deciding if I was going to work out each day, I set it in my calendar like a non-negotiable meeting.
- Instead of asking myself what to work on every morning, I decided the night before.
When I was in the fitness coaching business, I noticed that the clients who saw the best results weren’t the most motivated—they were the ones who built systems around their habits.
Because here’s the truth: You won’t always feel like doing the thing.
Motivation is inconsistent. Discipline is a system.
That’s why the people who succeed at anything don’t rely on their emotions to decide their actions.
They set things up so that quitting is harder than continuing.
- They create accountability.
- They remove unnecessary decision-making.
- They set up systems that carry them forward even on the hard days.
If you don’t know where to start, try setting up a daily dashboard doc.
What you put in there is up to you.
I have mine in Notion and aim to skim this every morning or whenever I need an anchor.
Every morning, before the world’s noise starts creeping in, give your brain the right soundtrack.
- Write down your key priorities.
- Remind yourself of what actually matters.
- Recalibrate before outside voices start dictating your day.
It’s a simple system, but the compounding effect of starting each day with clarity is massive.
If I could go back, I’d tell myself: "Make discipline easy. Don’t rely on willpower—rely on systems."
Because the secret to self-discipline isn’t about forcing yourself through pain.
It’s about making success the default path.
So Where Do You Start?
So where do you start?
Soft skills aren’t flashy.
They don’t come with certificates or easy validation.
But they shape every major opportunity, project, and decision you’ll make.
The hardest part?
You don’t get rewarded for working on them immediately.
There’s no instant feedback loop.
No applause.
But over time?
The person who can stay calm under pressure, sell an idea, adapt to change, build real relationships, make smart decisions, focus deeply, and follow through—wins.
And the best part? You don’t have to master all of them at once.
Just pick one. Start small. Make it a habit.
Because the sooner you build these skills, the easier everything else in life becomes.
Which one do you think is your strongest?
Hit reply and let me know.
In your corner,
Misbah Haque
P.S. If you want a hand with starting or growing your podcast, book a free strategy call here. Or take my Podcast Audit quiz here.
P.P.S. I built a stopwatch where you can rename your lap times. Use it for free here.
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